No Worries, It's Just the "Herx"

My days are now filled with "herxing," and might I add "brain fog," making it very difficult to write this post. Yet, the most concerning thing of all about this whole ordeal, is that I actually know what the word "herx" means... What the hell is a herx? Most women in their 20's, are concerned with other issues other than the herx - reveiling to me that yes, once again, I am slightly abnormal.

The Herx or Herxheimer Reaction is an immune system reaction to the toxins (endotoxins and neurotoxins) that are released when large amounts of pathogens are being killed off, and the body does not eliminate the toxins quickly enough. Technically known as the Jarisch-Herxheimer Reaction, this syndrome goes by many names, including JHR, the Herxheimer Effect, the Herxheimer Response, a Herx Reaction, Herx or Herks. The most common terminology used is the Herxheimer Reaction. It is also often referred to as a healing crisis, a detox reaction, or die-off syndrome.

The Herx Reaction is a short-term (from days to a few weeks) detoxification reaction in the body. As the body detoxifies, it is not uncommon to experience flu-like symptoms including headache, joint and muscle pain, body aches, sore throat, general malaise, sweating, chills, nausea, and in my case brain fog, or other symptoms. This is a normal — and even healthy — reaction that indicates that parasites, fungus, viruses, bacteria or other pathogens are being effectively killed off. As these lovely things die, they release other neurotoxins and heavy metals, making it a wonderful experience for your brain. Although the experience may not make you feel particularly good, the Herxheimer Reaction is actually a sign that healing is taking place.

What does this mean for me..? My energy is so low, the thought of trying to move from this chair overwhelms me, and to even attempt to lift my body is only going to amount in failure. My eyes are buggy, which seem to delight my friends in asking me to take a picture. Yes, I have strange friends. No way people!

In fact, my whole body is swelled; my head, neck and spine especially. My face no longer seems my own because it is so swollen - my features are gone. My spine feels like you have had a really bad sunburn, your skin is all tight and swollen, and it won’t stretch. Now, duplicate this feeling in your spine about 20X and you’ll get the same feeling that I feel right now. My toes are numb and I cannot feel them, which most likely is caused from nerve compaction in my swollen spine. But hey, I am living proof you really don’t need your toes after all, right? It's all good, you don't need your toes anyway. What function do they serve really, I mean, c'mon.

In fact I wouldn’t feel so bad if I could only see. My eyes just can’t seem to focus that well, creating a blur around me. This might be good if I were a painter or something, and wanted some new ideas for abstract work. But I'm not a painter, I am a musician. So maybe I could write a song that creates mass confusion, leaving everyone wondering at the end what it was all about. Oh wait, our government's already got this one down!

"Breathe, breathe, breathe," is all I can say to myself. This is a scarey place to be. So today I make another conscious effort to persist, to endure - asking questions - how do I help myself? I am determined, but it is only because I have no other option, so I guess it is similar to beating your head against the wall a million times a day – looking for answers that nobody knows.