Headed Up Heartbreak Hill

(Picture of Peter and me at Berklee College of Music Graduation)

I can see it right in front of me - Heartbreak Hill. I do not fear this; I've trained on this hill front and back, time and time again. Through the snow, ice, freezing temperatures, wind and rain my best friend Peter and I would train for the Boston Marathon - sometimes 3 hours at a time - running the hills. "Not bad for a beauty queen," Peter would comment... He was always "mocking" me out, as he liked to put it. He would mock me out, but I always got the last laugh as I watched him stumble up Heartbreak Hill carrying quarts of my Gatorade along with various protein bars, which I had somehow convinced him to carry for me. "Come on, this is so easy!" I would say as I bounced along beside him.

Our steps remained consistent through the months, yet the scenery around us changed. Fall's beauty of colors, to the incredible Charles covered in snow; the melting of spring to the heavy humid heat of summer. I saw beauty as I had never seen before in the movement of the seasons, in the transformation of time around us. Sometimes I would be in awe at the sight and power of the Charles ability to reflect the deepest part of my inner life, as the moods constantly changed.

That beauty I saw, is all around me still. It has manifested itself into my soul, as I begin to heal from within. Today I pause to catch my breath. I glance behind me to look at the miles I've walked these past few years. Through the seasons, I've learned how to walk again, taking one step at a time, taking one breath at a time - my eye on the finish line.

"How much farther do we have to go?" I ask.

"Not much farther...let's go a little bit more...up the hill and around the corner is the most spectacular of all just waiting for you!" I willed myself on. I'm almost there.

The "Hill" is what makes Boston one of the most difficult marathons to run. Just before you think you are close to finishing, mile 23 pops up. Ahead of you are miles of hills to run, up and down. You are so close to the finish line, but the strongest test lies right in front of you. You are in the most pain, the most fatigued - yet you are almost at the homestretch. You have only a few miles to go.

Today I stopped and looked at my journey. I was struck with awe as I saw how beautiful it all was - and I realized - it’s worth it. Just to live - it’s worth it. I took a break from traveling today, and just appreciated where I was at - looked back at the road, and saw how far I've traveled. I’m tremendously lucky just to be alive. This is one marathon I will never forget.