Fallin' Off The Turnip Truck

Today I fell off the Turnip Truck! My mother informed me that it was indeed the Turnip Truck, not the Apple Cart... I was confused and thought maybe I jumped off the Bandwagon, but I was told I did this a long time ago and needed to get back on it!

Moving back to Oregon to live on "The Farm," has brought it's many challenges. One of these challenges has been a change in lingo. A day to day conversation might go like this..."Was that your cow out on the road this morning?" Or..."You just have to take the bull by the horns and do something about it!"

This knowledge came in handy today, when I went to the local DMV to change my drivers license over from Massachusetts to Oregon. I guess it is so difficult to drive here, that they make you take a written test with questions such as:

1.) "If there are a herd of animals on the road, should you _________:
a) try to go around them?
b) honk your horn to signal them to move?
c) wait patiently while the animals are herded off the road?
d) continue driving - they shouldn't be in the highway anyway?

Unfortunately I failed the exam - which means I am unfit to drive in Oregon. They kindly told me to come back tomorrow to take the test again, so I grabbed the drivers manual and headed home to study. When I got home, I realized...I mistakenly took the manual that was written in Chinese! Now, not only do I have to learn the how to drive in Oregon, I have to learn Chinese!

QUESTIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1.) Do you have a medical condition that could impair your driving ability?
Ummmm, no... does brain fog count? I recall a conversation I had with my friend Mark the other day who is also Lyme Positive. He said his brain fog was so bad, that when he was driving down the highway, he could not figure out if he needed to go right or left for his exit. Here he is, going down the Interstate, 60MPH, thinking right, left, right, left, right left...He might end up somewhere in the middle - like the meridian.

2.) Does your vision impair your ability to see the road clearly?
Ummmm, no.... does blindness count? I recall another conversation I had with my friend Hilary the other day. It was late at night and she asked, "Are you ok to drive?" She asked me this not because I had been drinking, but because I am almost blind in my right eye, and in addition, my retina in that same eye does not focus properly; both conditions caused from my coinfection, Bartonella. I laughed and said, "It's all good - I can see out of my left eye perfectly!"

So technically, I lied at the DMV on those 2 questions. But hey! A girl's gotta drive! I remember reading something in one of my new age books saying that when you tell a lie, a shot of green is sent throughout your aura, poisoning yourself. I think to myself, "Shit, now I've screwed up my aura!"

In my dismay, I head to Burgerville - something a person with a chronic illness should never do. Why you ask? The meat contains contaminants such as antibiotics, hormones, flavorings such as MSG, food colorings, etc. The hamburger buns contain something I am allergic to - Gluten - not to mention simple starch. To top it off, I had a large soda, aka sugar! I cannot have these things because my immune system cannot process these contaminants. Gluten is a poison to my body, basically shutting it down neurologically, resulting in me wanting to take a nap wherever I might be at the time; not hearing voices, seeing clearly, or thinking properly.

I realized - I Just Fell Off The Turnip Truck! The day's events had escalated to this...but wow, did that hamburger taste good! "Tomorrow," I said to myself, "I will get back on the Bandwagon and eat properly." But first, I better head home before the effects of this Gluten set in. I really shouldn't be driving....

Headed Up Heartbreak Hill

(Picture of Peter and me at Berklee College of Music Graduation)

I can see it right in front of me - Heartbreak Hill. I do not fear this; I've trained on this hill front and back, time and time again. Through the snow, ice, freezing temperatures, wind and rain my best friend Peter and I would train for the Boston Marathon - sometimes 3 hours at a time - running the hills. "Not bad for a beauty queen," Peter would comment... He was always "mocking" me out, as he liked to put it. He would mock me out, but I always got the last laugh as I watched him stumble up Heartbreak Hill carrying quarts of my Gatorade along with various protein bars, which I had somehow convinced him to carry for me. "Come on, this is so easy!" I would say as I bounced along beside him.

Our steps remained consistent through the months, yet the scenery around us changed. Fall's beauty of colors, to the incredible Charles covered in snow; the melting of spring to the heavy humid heat of summer. I saw beauty as I had never seen before in the movement of the seasons, in the transformation of time around us. Sometimes I would be in awe at the sight and power of the Charles ability to reflect the deepest part of my inner life, as the moods constantly changed.

That beauty I saw, is all around me still. It has manifested itself into my soul, as I begin to heal from within. Today I pause to catch my breath. I glance behind me to look at the miles I've walked these past few years. Through the seasons, I've learned how to walk again, taking one step at a time, taking one breath at a time - my eye on the finish line.

"How much farther do we have to go?" I ask.

"Not much farther...let's go a little bit more...up the hill and around the corner is the most spectacular of all just waiting for you!" I willed myself on. I'm almost there.

The "Hill" is what makes Boston one of the most difficult marathons to run. Just before you think you are close to finishing, mile 23 pops up. Ahead of you are miles of hills to run, up and down. You are so close to the finish line, but the strongest test lies right in front of you. You are in the most pain, the most fatigued - yet you are almost at the homestretch. You have only a few miles to go.

Today I stopped and looked at my journey. I was struck with awe as I saw how beautiful it all was - and I realized - it’s worth it. Just to live - it’s worth it. I took a break from traveling today, and just appreciated where I was at - looked back at the road, and saw how far I've traveled. I’m tremendously lucky just to be alive. This is one marathon I will never forget.